life with a puppy

…puppies are assholes…

They are the cutest most adorable, big eyed, bundles of joy and love….. Then they piss on your brand new rug. Eat the corner of your ottoman, or two corners. Chew a brand new pillow. Shred a blanket. Eat one of your favorite bras, destroy beyond recognition your favorite pair of date heels (oh well, not like I’m dating anyway) ….


My boxer Reese turned 7 on August 1st, he’s considered older by boxer standards.  He’s mellow, for the most part and I joke that he is set in his old man ways.  He has his spot on the couch, knows his section of my bed.  He gets excited when anyone comes over or knocks on the door; but for the most part he’s calm down and just a chill guy.  Then May 15th of this year, I interrupted his life by bring home 9 week old Grimm, a pitbull puppy, full-on bundle of energy and spaz.



Reese can be an asshole, he’s been an only pup since he first came home with me at 8 weeks old.  I will admit I was concerned how he would take to Grimm.  None of my worries or fears came to pass.  The two took to each other very well. They have had their ups and downs, establishing who is boss, Reese still remains “in charge” so to speak, but he lets Grimm get away with a lot; for this I am very proud of my bubba (Reese’s nickname).

Grimm is my first pitbull and 2nd dog.  I’ve always had a soft spot for the bully breeds and seen them as misunderstood by so many… Maybe in some aspects we share that trait.  Pits are huge love bugs and goofy, just like boxers.  However…as puppies, fuck, both breeds are little assholes.

Reese, destroyer of any stuffed toy and god have mercy on it, if it has a squeaker inside… dead in minutes.  But until about a year and a half old…wow.  He ate, yes ATE half of a 5×7 area rug. Countless tennis balls, a purple frisbee, mauled multiple socks -leaving them mate-less, mutilated 2 bras, 3 dog beds, 2 couch throw pillows, 1 blanket…and the underside of my box-spring mattress.  Oh and 1 remote control -Comcast was less than pleased with me when they got that unit back.  Oops.  He dug countless holes in the backyard, shredded sheer curtains.  Ate his crate blankets, destroyed dog towels….

Oh then there is my mother’s story (LMFAO), she use to watch him while I was at work when he was under 9 months old.  I worked 3-11, about 40 minutes away, so he was never alone for long since she worked 7-5.  She use to put his harness on him and take him for walks around her unfenced yard.  Now.  Mom is a bit of a gardener, but the soil at that house was horrible, so she use to put the used coffee grounds on top the soil to help fertilize it.  Oh yeah, you guessed it.  In the darkness of late fall and winter, my mom could not tell he wasn’t just sniffing the ground he was eating the coffee grounds!  So now my poor pup is on one hell of a coffee kick, racing around my mom’s lake cottage style home in a blur of brindle fur.  Then he would suddenly stop and just fall over snoring…

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Six years later, I had forgotten just how much work a new puppy is….

So there I am, starting all over.  The frustrations of trying to house train a pup, constantly turning around to find something else has been chewed, and forget keeping the dog toys contained to one container or area, or finding a puddle of pee because we didn’t make it outside in time… Plus watching two dogs adjust to their new lives together.  It is a lot of frustrating work.  But knowing it wont last forever, they won’t be a destructive tornado as long as it feels.  They will grow out of this adorable little fuzz ball into a much larger adorable loving 4-legged best friend.

The joke if you don’t like dog hair, don’t sit on my furniture… Well, here in this house, it isn’t a joke.  The boys are on my furniture just as much as I am.  This is their home just as much as mine.  The backseat of my Jeep belongs to them.  I really don’t care if you are not a dog person, don’t expect me to accommodate you.  They are my kids, I am their mom.  When I brought them into my life, I promised to be there for them until they take their last breath.  Just like anyone’s 2-legged kid, my 4-legged kids can be assholes.  But they are my little bundles of love and eternal puppy kisses.  The asshole moments grow fewer and farther between as they grow older…and with each day I dread the inevitable.

Grimm is now seven and a half months old, 95% house trained and the destroyer of any stuffed toy -thanks Reese, rope toys, squeaky toys, 1 dvd case (that’s ok, I didn’t think Leonardo DiCaprio’s version of The Great Gatsby was that good anyway), 1 crate bed (it was in Reese’s crate), at least 3 towels, 2 old sheets and a mouse… That’s right my little pibble mighty hunter caught a mouse and killed it, then brought it onto my bed like a rope chew toy.  I about screamed when I realized exactly what he was chewing on, the worse part was it was in my hand when I realized the rope had eyes and a tail!  What you have to understand, is that his ‘blue eyes’ are actually cloudiness, making him half blind.  But by his energy, gracefully puppy moments, leaping and bounding all over the house or backyard; you would not be able to tell he has any thing less than absolute perfect vision. Oh and then there was entire box of shredded tissue that I had not realized was on a low bookshelf.

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Most days Grimm is a bundle of random energy, dashing through the house with a half chewed unraveling rope ball, attempting to taunt his older brother to chase him around the house, bouncing off furniture and my bed.  I turn my back for 5 minutes on a phone call and I find my dinning room looks like it snowed… The guts of some stuffed thing, scattered about like a massacre.  It is a daily challenge to keep up after his mess. Times, like now, when I am trying to work on my laptop, he is crawling up my arm… licking my arm, my face…hell even my toes (weirdo).  He’ll resort to licking my laptop when he feels it is his turn for attention, NOW.  And don’t think for one instant he has any sense of sleeping in!  I mean dear god man, it’s SATURDAY!!! Come on!!  We really do NOT need to wake up at 6am…. and stay up!  No, no, no….sleep little soft fuzz ball, pleeeeaaassseeee…. But don’t worry, you’ll pay for sleeping in.  In the extra hour of sleep I wanted, it snowed in my bedroom and immediately outside my bedroom door.  The casualty?  Another random no longer stuffed toy.  At least it’s not a tennis shoe, work boot or my favorite hoodie. *sigh*  At least the mess is only the destruction of his toys, which I am more than ok with.

He is a four legged, furry toddler; and I love every bit of his chaotic mess.  Because suddenly, the energy wears off and he crashes; curled up in a little soft ball of fuzziness, snoring softly next to me.  When he sleeps, he has to be curled up right next to me, practically on my shoulder or head.  It is the most endearing feeling, this little creature, his unconditional love and aggressive puppy kisses -yes, he randomly wakes up and has to give me or his brother kisses, then curls back up and seconds later is softly snoring.


-Inked Amazon Warrior


Author: boxerjeep

I am a mid 30s pawrent to my babies Reese (boxer) and Grimm (pitbull). A tattooed Army veteran, yogi and strength athlete. My second loves after my pups are tattoos, my Jeep, random music, real books, ancient history, the outdoors and art.

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