Last weekend I was sitting in a tree stand with my bow thinking I should write a blog about this… A couple days later when I looked, it’s been a year since I wrote anything. A whole year?!?
Where has the time gone?!
Then I started thinking about how the past year of chaos has been spent… Absorbed with good friends, the stress and chaos of loosing the house I was renting and buying a place of my own, moving, work, learning how to be a homeowner and all the oddities that have gone into the first 6 months, the beginning and end of a couple romantic relationships, white tail bow hunting for the first time…. Yea, it’s been a busy 300 and some odd days.
Now I’m sitting at my kitchen table… I have room for a kitchen table!! With the 4 new to me chairs I just purchased yesterday morning, looking out the slider door over my deck and backyard. The late October Michigan sky is overcast of blues and grey, we had freezing rain yesterday and a little snow last night -the first of the season. My heart is so in love with my life.
In late August or maybe early September, not really sure which, hell maybe it was even July…while hosting a bonfire at my house with friends; I decided I was going to host this year’s holiday party with friends. Wait, whaaatttt…. I’m hosting the holiday party!?!!! I have not hosted one since 2006, the same year as my divorce. I’ve gone to a friends house once or twice for Christmas, but in the past 10+ years I have not willingly done much for the holidays. In fact last year’s plans fell through because my friends’ kids were sick, so instead I barricaded myself in my tiny rental with a rotisserie chicken and pie, then decided to paint my bedroom. The year before I spent Christmas day with my phones (work included) turned off and snowshoeing.
Now this year, I am planning the Yule dinner with friends -yes it is going include a bonfire! …and I am so excited about all of it. Yesterday I was in Hobby Lobby and of course the Christmas decorations were 40% off, I bought a new tree topper and some bulbs, a table runner and I was smiling the whole time. Let that sink in, I bought Christmas stuff in October! Me!! The one who has been boycotting anything to do with the holidays the past 10 years. Now mentally I am running over in my head how I want to set the house up, the feeling I want the home to give off with the decorations and oh crap I want to buy this or that… I need this…. I want to replace these for those….
Last year I talked about the emotional healing I felt I had gone through and that I had come to be in a better place. Clearly what started last year has continued into this year like a snowball rolling down a steep cliff. Proof of this can be seen in the smile on my face when I fill my house with the loud laughter of my friends. The calmness in my soul on an overcast Sunday morning as I enjoy my morning coffee curled up in my oversized chair with my two dogs laying on my feet.
I still eat animal crackers with my coffee on a lazy weekend morning, some things will never change.